My Marshamallow

I hope you had an incredible holiday with friends and/or family. Only now do I truly appreciate how special Thanksgiving is — one of the few times everyone is expected to drop everything and come home, and the world actually respects that. Now that I usually have an empty-ish nest (especially with my second kid, Morgan — aka Marshmallow — moving out), I’m that much more grateful for this holiday that magically stretches into a long weekend (sometimes a whole week) of having them back.

Over break, we had a big Shabbat dinner with close friends and all the kids home from school. At one point, the host handed me the proverbial mic and said, “Ask something interesting.” On the spot, I threw out: “What are you most excited about and most concerned about right now?” We happened to be sitting around the table in age order, youngest first. The little ones were laser-focused on the very near term, the next dance recital or Winter Break. As we went around, the time horizon kept stretching, finals, and job recruiting. The adults stretched their time horizon even further, talking about AI completely changing the world, and one friend casually mentioning the possibility of going to space. It reminded me of the famous Stanford Marshmallow Experiment: little kids were offered one marshmallow now or two if they could wait 15 minutes; those who waited tended to do better in life on almost every measure. (Later studies made it messier, but the core idea still feels true.) I suspect that delayed gratification and requisite discipline are a function of maturity, experience, and the ability to measure the risk/reward. Except with my own Marshmallow, I’m eating the one in front of me right now, because I never know how long it’ll be until I get her back at the table again.

BRICK
Technology

The Brick comes from a simple concept: my phone and certain apps can be a distraction, and therefore, one needs to restrict access to them. Let’s be honest: technology companies are motivated to get more users on their platforms for longer, and they spend significant amounts of money figuring out how to do so. We don’t stand a chance with notifications, enticing videos, and clickbait.  No matter how much discipline and grit you have, most people are going to opt for the marshmallow now rather than wait for more marshmallows later. Therefore, Brick is a device that allows Users to choose which applications to restrict access to; for me, it is Messages, Twitter, and TikTok. All you need to do is tap the Brick and leave it somewhere other than where you are working productively. This is also perfect for nighttime, when you leave your phone next to your bed so you can hear the inevitable calls for help from your family (if they ever come) and not be tempted to doom-scroll into the wee hours. Think of the Brick as your act of demonstrating maturity, experience, and the ability to measure the risk/reward.

I'll take my Morgan now, wait for the Marshmallow payoff later, and consider Brick Found!